The regressive role that religion, caste, creed and faith often play when it comes to marriages and relationships:

 “The Caste System cannot be said to have grown as a means of maintaining purity of blood. As a matter of fact, Caste system came into being long after the different races of India had commingled in blood and culture…What racial affinity is there between the Brahmin of Punjab and the Brahmin of Madras?...What racial difference is there between the Brahmin of Madras and the Pariah of Madras?...I am convinced that the real remedy is inter-marriage. Fusion of blood can alone create the feeling of being kith and kin and unless this feeling of kinship, of being kindred, becomes paramount the separatist feeling – the feeling of being aliens – created by Caste will not vanish…”

-        B.R. Ambedkar

  Let’s begin by considering the definition of marriage. A marriage is a social event and it is also a religious occasion. It is an auspicious ceremony – a ceremony that is believed to legalise the sacred bond that two consenting partners (who must always be adults in the legal sense of the term) share. Marriage is a union of the souls, it is a union of the bodies, it is a union of the involved families. It is, perhaps, one of the most beautiful aspects of adult life that is replete with psychological and emotional meaning, responses and reciprocation. Love, affection and trust form the foundation of a happy marriage and, hence, marriage cannot be regarded merely as a ‘social contract’. If so, then why is this institution of marriage so often marred by socio-religious constraints?

Article 15(1) of India’s Constitution sates: “The state shall not discriminate against any citizens on grounds only of religion, caste, sex, place of birth, or any of them”. Article 17 asserts: “Untouchability is abolished and its practice in any form is forbidden”. India’s Special Marriage Act – 1954, which came into effect on January 1955, allows for inter-religious marriages, but requires that couples given written notice of their intent to marry at least 30 days before the marriage.

The fact that inter-caste/ inter-faith marriages are legalised does not exempt them from being stigmatised. Love, one of the most passionately felt impulses of human life, does not take into consideration such superfluities when it gently burrows its soft, nimble fingers in the fluffiest regions of a human heart. Love is based on compatibility and this compatibility has nothing to do with one’s caste/creed/religion for it is the person whom one is dating and not his or her caste. The freedom to choose a life partner, one who would support us through thick and thin, one who would furnish us with all kinds of support – physical, social, psychological and financial, is the fundamental right of every individual. However, this right is often infringed upon by friends, family members and so-called well-wishers in collusion with the state apparatus when the prevailing norms of the society assume greater importance than one’s happiness and mental peace. Family members turn foes, friends become the deadliest pursuers and government officials the chief executors whose sole motive is to completely annihilate the sinful and erring lovers. In numerous instances of violence, the perpetrators had often been supported by local bodies like the Panchayats. 

Government data recently made available in Parliament show that the number of incidents of interreligious violence in 2017 was higher than in 2016 and 2015. According to ‘Human Rights Watch’, khap panchayats, “unofficial village councils”, in the northern states of Haryana, Punjab and Uttar Pradesh, may issue edicts forbidding inter-religious marriages among other types of mixed marriages. According to ‘Globe and Mail’ article, in November 2011 in Uttar Pradesh, the father and two brothers of a 21-year old woman were charged with shooting and killing her because she was in a relationship with a man of a different religion.

In order to overcome this gruesome and irrational violation of basic human rights, several Human rights activists and other progressive and democratic groups are coming to the fore like the People’s Union for Civil Liberties (PUCL), People’s Union for Democratic Rights (PUDR), Association for Advocacy and Legal Initiatives (AALI) in Lucknow, etc. Though intense efforts are being made to help people eradicate their prejudices, the legal measures and awareness campaigns have not been very effective. According to a survey in 2014, only about 5% of marriages in India are inter-caste. According to the founder of Love Commandos, a New-Delhi based voluntary organisation that helps young couples who marry against their families’ wishes, the police often side with their parents instead of providing protection to the couples, and may even falsely charge the young men of having raped the women. In fact, in a number of cases the couple had been murdered by their family members two or three years after the legal reconciliation.

The taboos surrounding inter-caste and inter-faith marriages are a grave problem. However, since they are only a result of our ingrained myths and prejudices, the solution to them shall also be very simple if people are really willing to purge the society of all its evils. All that they need to do is understand and accept that these distinctions and demarcations based on race, caste and religion are absolutely superficial and entirely unreasonable. An individual should choose as his life partner a person with whom he/she is compatible and comfortable. The social segment to which the partner belongs must never constitute an important criteria. Social considerations would under no circumstance guarantee lasting happiness in the long run. The faster the people realise this, the better and brighter the society would become. We are all, after all, humans and therefore discrimination is but a futile job. Instead, we must utilise our time to spread love, affection and kindness.

                                                                                                                                      - Sanghamitra Chatterjee 

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